traxis on the run

Crappy day
Started off by getting woken up by the dogs we are dogsitting howling at something/nothing at 6:40 AM (20 minutes earlier than my alarm would go off; not worth going back to bed). Saw each had pooped in the kitchen - uhg.

Didn't know what to wear - but was ready in time for the 7:15 bus. The 7:15 bus never came - waited outside for another 20 minutes.

Starbucks was lacking the awesome new barista - instead a slow new one was making lukewarm lattes. The "couple" ahead of me include the kind of snotty overly-metro guy I hate and a stupid prima donna girl. Another person opened the door as I was leaving (with my hands full) but didn't keep the door open - she practically snarled at me when I walked through saying thanks then holding the door open for her.

Work was okay - at least so I thought. It has been very difficult adjusting to the new job. I've told people it's going well, but I'm really at a weird place with it. No one is giving me solid feedback (until this afternoon - more on that next) and I'm either left wandering around, or else getting tons of projects dumped on me at once. Frankly, I prefer being busy, but it's so disorganized. I'm not sure what is going on in the "big picture" yet - and I don't know what is happening in terms of formal taking-over of portfolios. I've never had to deal with this sort of situation before, and it has been hard to go back to a regular 8-hour job with structured 15-minute breaks and half-hour lunches.

I am missing my old job.

Spoke with my direct contact this afternoon - it was a hard conversation. It wasn't like anything bad had happened or anything, but it was a "let's all make sure we know what our jobs are and what are jobs aren't" conversation - and I got emotional. Stupid. So upsetting that I let it get to me. Makes me feel even more out of place; but I've felt sort of out of place since I got there. I do know that thinking back to other jobs, I've always felt "out of my league" during orientation times, but this is a scary thing to feel when we think about what position I'm holding... It's especially strange to feel this way after I've done some very successful work and have gotten some good things done in the week that I've been there...

I don't think I've made a mistake leaving my old job - frankly, I've done much more hard, dirty, unrewarding, pointless jobs in the pass for a lot less financial stability, but I'm still uneasy. Hopefully this will pass soon.

posted by traxis @ 6:38 p.m.