traxis on the run

Glah, I just did as much banking as humanly possible. If I were to stop shopping (and paying rent, buying food, paying tuition, or paying taxes) RIGHT NOW, I would still owe $4360. I have $80 real dollars to get me through the month. Not going to happen. Thinking of liquefying my RRSP's... is that a good idea?
I get a raise in May, and my tuition will also drop then (after a one-time lump sum of $500 - so really, my tuition will drop in June), but I also have to pay taxes in May - blah!
I can probably get an emergency loan from the office to pay stuff off, but then I'll just be paying back the office - that doesn't help.
The Shopaholic Takes Manhattan book makes my head hurt and my guilt complex surface - big time.
I dunno. I'm not TOOO worried about it... If I'm REALLY REALLY GOOD until my birthday, I should be able to be pretty much in the black again and won't have to liquefy my RRSP's. Kinda pisses me off that I have to pay for so much stuff in day to day life - I'm totally self-sustaining out here on my small TA salary and my supplementary income from the office. My TA salary pays for rent, tuition, and MAYBE the phone bill. My office salary pays for cable/internet, food, and 300$ left over for clothes, stuff, outings, and miscellany. ARGH! I HATE MONEY!
Money means NOTHING to me - like the paper stuff. It holds no meaning for me at all. It's like it doesn't mean anything whereas stuff and getting to do stuff is meaningful - I SEE that I have done work or whatever if I can get or do whatever I want to get/do. This makes no sense.
$20 in the bank is meaningless, a new tank top, that's meaningful.
Wished this made more sense.

posted by traxis @ 9:31 a.m.